Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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