It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
