You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
