All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
