so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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