Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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