new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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