im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
This baby is an asshole
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
