I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
do nipples grow back?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
