Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'm always down for nudity.
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