look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
