I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
