I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
