Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
