Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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