I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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