i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
