Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm too high and old for this...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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