marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
