I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Randomize
