just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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