You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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