We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize