and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
No subtext here. People are naked.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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