I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
