Don't you send me to vm
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
