i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
