so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize