she woke up with a sticky ear
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize
