none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Just high enough for therapy.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
