Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
