Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
