dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
