my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
