Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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