you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
