she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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