Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
