Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
