ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Boobs speak an international language.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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