Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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