dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
