Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

How's work going?

(781): View more from Massachusetts

Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now

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