I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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