i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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