CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
