I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
