no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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