I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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