Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
