i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
