Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
