sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
