I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
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