He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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