Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
