Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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