So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
