I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
