ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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