My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
