turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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