it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
love makes seman taste better
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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