Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
