Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
