What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize