That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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