ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
