i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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