Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
