I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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