I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
