god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
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