and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
