Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm at about main and main street
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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